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Motivating Underachievers: When Your Child Says I Don't Care Family Articles | February 26, 2011 Are you facing the new school year with dread because you have an unmotivated or underachieving teen or pre-teen? Is your child?s answer to everything, ?I don?t care? or ?It doesn?t matter?? In Part I of this two-part series Andrei Vasilevskiy Jersey , James Lehman, MSW explains why your child does have motivation?and how you can coach them to better behavior.
The first thing to understand about teens and pre-teens who seem to have no motivation is this simple truth: It's impossible to have no motivation. Everybody is motivated?it just depends on what they?re motivated to do. I think it's helpful to see that rather than being unmotivated, these kids are actually motivated to not perform and to resist their parents. In other words, they?re motivated to do nothing.
Parents often think that if they can find a new way to encourage their child, he or she will magically start achieving more. I don't think it's like that at all. In fact Victor Hedman Jersey , I think the problem is that these kids are motivated to resist, withdraw and under-perform. In effect, instead of acting out, they?re acting in.
Think of lack of motivation as an action problem?and the action is to resist. These kids are making excuses; they?re pushing their parents away. At school, they?re motivated to resist studying and homework. They're also motivated to resist their teachers. Look at it this way: these kids are motivated to say ?I don?t care Louis Domingue Jersey ,? either with their words or with their actions. They?re saying those words; they?re telling you what they?re doing?they?re not caring.
How Can Parents Motivate Their Teen or Pre-teen? Once you realize that your adolescent is motivated to do nothing, it will become obvious to you right away that he actually puts a lot of energy into doing that ?nothing.? He puts a lot of energy into resisting you, to withdrawing from you, to making complaints. When you talk to an adolescent who's an underachiever, what you hear are a lot of errors in thinking. ?I can't; it?s too hard; it doesn't matter; I don?t care.? In fact Braydon Coburn Jersey , ?I don?t care? is their magic wand and their shield?it takes off pressure and makes them feel in control all at the same time. The words ?I don?t care? empower them. When they start feeling anxious about their place in life, it soothes them to say it doesn?t matter; they use it like a soporific or a drug. ?I don?t care? also helps them deal with their anxiety. Fear of failure? ?I don?t care.? It's hard to do? ?I don?t care.? It dismisses everything.
Frankly, you can't make your child care. Let?s be honest, the old saying, ?You can bring a horse to water Yanni Gourde Jersey , but you can't make him drink? is true. But understand that while we can?t make our kids drink, we can certainly try to make them thirsty.
9 Ways to Get through to Your Underachieving Child or Teen a Look at What Your Child Likes: Look for things that can be used as rewards for your child. Make a point of observing what your child likes and enjoys now. And don't take his word for it; he'll tell you he doesn't care about anything; that ?nothing matters.? But look at his actions?if he watches a lot of TV, plays on the computer, if he likes video games or texting, you know what he likes. Ask yourself: does he like going to the movies? Does he like going fishing? Does he like taking walks? Take an Jerseys[/url] Wholesale Jerseys From ChinaWholesale Jerseys From ChinaWholesale NFL Jerseys